This comes from a 48 year old Descendant of American Slaves (DAS) who aborted two children fathered by the same man. First, as an eighteen year old college student, when my mother made the decision for us. Then, at age 24, because this same "college sweetheart", after a seven year, admittedly, rocky relationship, did not want to get married "just" because I was pregnant. I refused to be an unwed mother and was devastated that I had to make my decision.
A year or so later, in the mid 1980s, after I moved across the country, unbeknownst to me, he got locked up for "insider trading." He wrote me a letter from jail telling me that "a part of him vanished" when I aborted our baby. I was stunned!
Fast forward 18 years....We both regret decisions we made 20 plus years ago, especially since both of us remain single with no children...and we'd make great parents now, together or apart!
Sane, thoughtful adults must create abortion legislation.
Personal experience with the pain of abortion wouldn't hurt either in coming up with rational, realistic legislation that deals with the reasons a woman is willing to suffer the pain and degradation of aborting her child's life. Is it because the pain and degradation of being a single mother in our society is like aborting her own life? Which is worse? One life or two negatively affected? It's a sacrifice either way.
I was "programmed" NOT to be an unwed mother after seeing my parents' reaction when my sister got pregnant at sixteen and I saw her life go on a downward spiral until 2006, when she finally entered a court ordered rehab; I guess my boyfriend was "programmed" not to get married " just because a woman "says she's pregnant" no matter how long you've been together. I don't know his backstory, I just got, "no shotgun wedding for him!" But after seven years, why not? Especially if she's pregnant!
That's the time to be adults, talk rationally and work it out for the LIFE of the child, just as people do regarding children in a divorce. Abortion should NOT be an option and it's too easy to get one.
Anyway, today, I just know that we all thank God for my 32 year old nephew who was born of a 16 year old, unwed mother who was blessed with family that supported her and helped raise her child.
Am I pro or anti abortion? I am against abortion, but I am for adult women and men's right to make a joint decision whether to abort their child or not.
After a lot of thought and personal experience with both sides of the coin...here are a few things I would like to see:
- An age restriction for receiving legal abortions, i. e., Women 21 and older cannot receive an abortion without written consent of the father and unless life-threatening circumstances exist.
- Before getting an abortion, when the father is known, he should be required to sign documents of consent.
- It should also be considered that his presence be required during the procedure.
Getting an abortion should not be an independent, unilateral decision after a woman is twenty-one.
This requirement alone, may significantly reduce the number of abortions that are performed by women between the ages of 21-40 who are in their child bearing years.
Child bearing years and father's consent should be the included in the abortion discussion.
